Black Love....Part 1 OUR ANCESTORS

In a recent post I exposed my readers to what I think is black love. One of my readers asked me to explore the topic of black love, I said I was going to wait until February (black history month and the month of Valentine's Day). However I decided to write this in a short series of posts, I wasn't sure I would have enough material; but when you think about it black love is all over. So this is the start of the black love series.

I know someone reading this is like what is the difference between black love and Hispanic love or white love? There really is no difference, or is there? Considering the history and background of our culture (being slaves and all) all we had was each other; family was most important during slavery times. Slaves never knew when they were going to be separated from those they loved most, whether it was their husband or wife or child, so they cherished every moment they had together taking nothing for granted. Love between the people of that time was real, there was nothing more important that loving your significant other. People then would fight and even die for the person they truly loved. They were honest, faithful, devoted and knew their roles in the relationship. These are values that a lot of relationships today lack, men are easily distracted by the next chic who he thinks is better than what he has at home. I hate to say it but a lot of women are now playing the role of the man and providing for the home, the role reversal can be strenuous on the love. (That is a topic for another post though). My point is that black love is something to be celebrated because so many people no longer have the same core values when it comes to black love as those before us. Back then relationships had substance, mainly because the couples were a unit, they suffered and struggled together. To have the person you know you can trust by your side was important to them. Somewhere along the way black relationships have lost their foundation in which they should be built. Think about it...this is a series with more posts to come...

The Scent of Seduction....

What does seduction smell like? Unforgiveable by Diddy? Gucci? Cool Water? Or maybe Polo Blue? L'Eau d'Issey by Issey Miyake or Yves Saint Laurent? Had this question been asked of me three months ago I would have had the most confused and unconcerned look on my face. Who knew seduction had a scent, I didn't until a month and a half ago. In my 7+ years of dating I have come across more than a few men who actually caught my attention with the cologne they used. But that wasn't what formed the initial attraction, it is a proven fact that the sexual attraction to a man is heightened when he has a specified smell. The scent of a man can direct a woman's sexual desires elsewhere almost immediately. The right smell can undeniably heighten sexual arousal. That's crazy right? Had I not experienced sexual seduction without even being touched I would say the same thing. I can honestly say that I know a man who's smell alone turns me on something terrible. (Don't judge me) The moment he got close enough to me that I could actually smell him my mind went elsewhere, I was completely lost in his scent. Without doing anything more than giving me a hug I had been seduced. (Sure it helped that he was fine; you know brown skin, deep waves, sexy with style? Yeah all that!) I was no more good after that, I was lost in the sauce.

I asked 5 of my female co-workers if a man's scent increased just their attraction as well as their sexual interest. 3 of the 5 said they were turned on sexually by a man who smelled good and all 5 said they are more prone to being attracted to a man who has a distinctive smell. (Good of course) Not only does smelling good signify good hygiene it always sets a tone, a man that takes pride in his appearance more likely than not wants a woman that does the same. Now don't get it twisted, all cologne does NOT and repeat DOES NOT smell the same on every man. The natural body chemistry has to go well with the cologne, so just because Issey Miyake smells good on Joe doesn't mean it's going to smell the same on Bobby. Every man is different and has his own preferences on how he wants to smell. I prefer Mr. Yves Saint Laurent....he can get it. LOL What I'm saying is that although we may not think so a person's scent, male or female plays a huge role on the sexual attraction of the opposite sex. When you find the scent that seems to draw attention to you from every angle...stick to it. Me personally I'm a Jessica Simpson "Fancy" chick...and yes when sprayed in the proper places it is pure seduction.

Black Love...Makes my Soul Happy

Florida and James Evans...for richer or for poorer.

I remember having a conversation with a friend last year in regards to not just relationships but black relationships. There was only one way for me to describe the way black love (TRUE black love) makes me feel. "It makes my soul happy". So I wanted to give you some of my favorite couples that truly make my soul do the happy dance. These couples, wheather ficticious or real prove that there is a such thing as soul mates, or that one person that you can't imagine your life without.

This is one of my all time favorite pictures of President Obama and Michelle. During his campaign she was with him every step of the way. This photo shows her love and dedication for her husband. Amazing..

Dr. King and Coretta...enough said.

Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, their story is one of true love. People don't believe in "Till death due us part" anymore, Ruby did..

Where is the Delete Button??

*I am a huge fan of Shanel Cooper, I follow her on twitter as well as her blog. Currently I am waiting for her book to get off back order. I was on her blog and came across this post and I wanted to share it with my readers. A lot of us are guilty of allowing negative people to continually have an unhealthy influence over our lives, causing us great pain, emotional turmoil and heartache. This letter is for any person mail or female who has reached their breaking point and is ready to rid their lives once and for all of all their unhealthy relationships. *

"Dear ______
You are a negative. You are killing my positive. I have allowed you to ruin parts of my life. Parts that you can not even help me rebuild. But give me credit. We both know I tried. Well, maybe we both did. But listen, I have to tell you something with all the sincerity and love I have within me. Please listen to my heart, not just my words.
DO NOT CALL OR TEXT ME!
Not in january, not in February, not in March, April, May, June, July, August, September, November, December and not even for Christmas. No Birthdays, No Holidays. And next January, don’t even THINK about remembering this convo. No, I will not catch any more grenades for you. No, I am not riding or dying with you anymore. You are you and I am me. We (whatever we were) is no longer we.
It’s not me. It’s You. But I have to be mature to take the steps to fix this. I want to be so brainwashed from you that YOU don’t even LIVE anymore. i want to be so brainwashed from your negativity, that you HATE waking up. DELETE ME because I’m DELETING YOU.
That is very rude of me. So I’m going to be the bigger person and recommend a resource to you. It costs $147. But you’ll probably pay $197 for the EXTRA STRENGTH version - because you have a lot of extra ISH you clearly have not dealt with and NEED to deal with immediately. You wouldn’t be so negative if you could let go of all your past hurts, embarrassments, failures and fears.
But hey… look on the bright side, 10 years from now – you might actually make something of yourself. "

*This is the kind of email you should send to NEGATIVE people in your life who show no sign of change. People who are drowning you in their negativity and laughing at you while you choke on your emotions, goals, dreams and ambitions. Stop drowning – get their negativity out of your mouth. You may send this letter to everyone who needs to hear it. It’s a perfect letter for aunts, uncles, moms, dads, cousins, grandparents, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, ex-husbands, ex-wives, bosses, managers, etc. Tweet it, Facebook it, Youtube it, Email it, Text it, Say it. Simply call up your useless, negative talking, negative thinking so-called “friend” and start with a basic intro like this: “I have something to say and I’m not looking for a response, but I want you to hear this from me before you hear it from anyone else…”
Then simply proceed with “YOU ARE NEGATIVE…” and continue reading the letter WITHOUT hesitation or pause. This will ensure your alien, unwanted “friend” knows that you are serious. Remember, you are NOT UP for feedback or conversation. This is your opportunity to put this friend in the TRASH – the place where all things go when they no longer serve purpose. True, your friend may raise a question or comment. But that is of NO concern to you – KEEP TALKING (repeat if necessary) – because you’ve already decided they must be permanently REMOVED from your life. In a matter of minutes, your stomach may rumble and your hands may shake. But continue reading until the very last sentence. Do not ask if they have anything to say – simply thank them for their time, say a polite “HAPPY NEW YEAR” and simply HANG UP.
Like I said… this letter has been working for millions of MEN and WOMEN for centuries. I use it every year, and for some mysterious reason, every year I keep getting better and better friends, more and more money, and more and more happiness, and I get more and more of EVERYTHING faster and faster — and easier and easier!
But why should I have all the fun? You know like I know, NEGATIVE people are killing your dreams and your self-worth.Now we have a solution.

P.S. You can add F___ YOU!!!! at the end if you want. I’ve found it adds a bit of satisfaction, but your point will be made nonetheless. Some people won’t understand unless you speak their language. It’s up to you!

Who IS M.C??

I met M.C almost four years ago, in Miami at a birthday party for Chingy. I had no idea then that he was a rapper, nothing about him said "look at me". He wasn't wearing a ton of chains or really making himself known so I shook his hand and kept it moving. It wasn't until I got back home that we crossed cyber paths via MySpace (yes I said MySpace). I've worked with M.C on several projects including his feature on the EDL mixtape as well as The Stop The Violence party in the plaza this past summer. However it wasn't until recently I was given the opportunity to sit down with M.C and find out who he really is.

Inspired by Easy-E, not because of his lyrical abilities but because without him so many artist would have never been heard of. "He didn't care what other people thought, he had his own style and said what he felt including FUCK the police!" M.C is nothing more than a simple, laid back hard working young man who is grinding his way to the top. M.C says that he is not motivated by notoriety or money when it comes to music; "I have a story that needs to be heard and that alone is my motivation." Marching to the beat of his own producer M.C is far from your average rapper, he works hard NOT to fit in with the STL music scene. "I am my own person, with my own style; my music can't really be classified with others."

*For more of my interview with M.C make sure you snatch a copy of the St. Louis Evening Whirl next Tuesday.*

STL STAND UP

For a long time reports of Nelly not supporting his home team of up and coming artist have buzzed not only the underground STL music scence but the industry as a whole. After his little "issue" with Huey, a lot of St. Louis artist wrote Nelly off and selfish and someone who only looks out for who he wants ie; The Lunatics. Well as I last blogged St. Louis based female rap group June 5th recently released their video "Dollaz" being the Twitter bugs that we all are the major promotion for the video was done via tweets. My entire timeline was full of tweets and retweets (sorry for all those not hip to the twitter lingo) of nothing but June 5th. But out of all the retweets only one stood out to me it was this "@June5th Video Dollaz!!!!! http://t.co/w917kZQ via @worldstarhiphop 6:17 AM Jan 7th via Twitter for BlackBerry® " straight from @Nellymo himself! I think time stood still for a brief moment. This was major! It not only showed that the group was making noise but it showed that Nelly isn't all for self. Hard work and grind recognizes the same in others and Nelly obviously recognized in this group of hard working ladies. With that STL STAND UP!!!

Making HERstory

When I walked into Black on Black studios in the Summer of 2007 and scanned the room full of people my eyes locked on the three ladies sitting in the corner closest to the door. One was tall, light skinned with a shape out of this world, she was pretty in the face but it wasn't any of those things that caught my attention, it was the blue bandanna she had tied around her head. The other was a little shorter, brown skin wearing a pair of stretch pants and an oversized t-shirt. (I think she had on some Princess Reeboks and ball socks too. j/p) the smallest of the three was my height (all of 5'2) with thick hips, and brown skin. Just regular chicks right??? WRONG! Little did I know that these three women were anything but regular! They were a rap trio from different backgrounds with totally different personalities with ONE thing in common, their LOVE for music and hip hop...I have learned these girls (who by the way are known to me as Tiffany, Brooke and Scar) and since that summer in 2007 fell in love with them, being adopted as the "little" sister of the group I will always support them! You can also check them out at http://theredbottomdarlings.tumblr.com/ .Their song "Worst Day" will forever be my anthem! Here is a look at my big sisters JUNE FIFTH doing their thang in their newest video "Dollaz" IT'S HERstory that's being made!

http://m.worldstarhiphop.com/video.php?v=wshhDig7kD376jkJmHT3

The Colour Crisis

Anyone who knows me (or doesn't but has seen more than one picture of me) will testify that I am rarely seen in a social setting in any color other than black. I literally have a closet full of black clothes, NO I am not in mourning or grieving the death of anyone. I just love the color black or do I?? Is there something deeper that makes me feel the need to wear black? After recently color coordinating my closet I decided to research the effects of clothing color on self-esteem and mood. This is what I've come up with.

Red: This morning I put on a pair of red shoes and a red top. I immediately felt energetic and excited, I was ready for my day to begin. According to research the color red is a physical yet basic color. Stimulating us and raising our pulse rate. Red is normally associated with adult sexuality and passion. (Valentine's Day, love, lingerie etc). Red is a color of strength, giving off the "stop and look" effect. Like a stop light.

Blue: I don't personally wear a lot of blue, primarily because I was always a "girly girl" and blue is associated with masculinity. (Boys wear blue girls wear pink) I noticed that when I do wear blue of lighter or moderate shades I feel a sense of calm and relaxation. This is because blues are associated with serenity, calm and coolness being connected to the blue sky or the ocean.

Yellow: I LOVE yellow and I do mean LOVE! One of my favorite colors, psychologically yellow is the strongest color. Yellow is associated with the sun and sunshine giving a feeling a confidence, friendliness and creativity. The right tone of yellow will lift your spirits and self-esteem.

Purple: Another personal favorite, often associated with with royalty purple signifies quality and luxury. Purple for most women signifies a sense of strength and survival due to the fact that it has become the official color of domestic violence awareness. However too much purple of the wrong tone communicates something cheap and nasty.

Pink: What little girl isn't a princess and doesn't love pink?? ME! Although I am a "girly girl" I do not like a lot of pink. I can count the number of pink items in my wardrobe on one hand. Pink does the opposite of red, it soothes rather than stimulates. Pink represents femininity, love and simple sexuality. Too much pink of any tone is draining to the eye. (like a bottle of Pepto Bismol)

Black: Always save the best for last, my ALL time favorite color for ALL occasions. Black signifies power, sophistication, and glamour. Black absorbs, bringing attention essentially causing confidence. It is my theory that "bosses" wear black. Most people tend to associate black with death and mourning(which is fine considering people wear black to funerals). However it's the way you wear it, black makes you feel sexy. Need some color? Put on a red lace pantie and bra set on underneath your LBD (little black dress) and see how you feel.

Following this blog and my research I have come to the conclusion that I wear black because I enjoy feeling sexy, confident and powerful. When I step into a room in a black dress and a red bag attention is drawn to me, like a moth to a flame. Ultimately the colors we choose to wear or not wear on a daily basis has an effect on not only how other people see or feel about you but the way you see and feel about yourself. What color are you wearing today?

New Year New ME

It has been almost 6 months since I last blogged. I had been knocked off my center which ultimately caused a serious writer's block. But I am slowly coming back into my own as not only a woman but as a writer, I am finding my inspiration and my muse once again. I don't believe in making resolutions I do however believe in making changes. So with that said, I have vowed to blog weekly if not daily as time allows, I will take steps towards being the person that I was born to be, I will make the changes needed to become a better mother and ultimately I will NOT change to be anyone else's ideal of what and who I should be. I've always said that I was going to change the world, even I know that in order to change the world I must first change myself. To be continued.......