"What if a Woman"

"What if a woman, had a man on the side and she never spent time with you.
What if a woman, said she's working late and it's always the same excuse.
What if a woman, took the keys to your whip said I'll be right back
don't trip. What if a woman left you home with the kids
changing diapers and shit what a twist." ~"What if a Woman" by Joe ~

That is a good question, what if a woman did all the things to her man that he does to her? What if women had no regard for the way we treated the men we dealt with? Relationships are a double standard. Men can treat women any which way they please and its ok, because he's a man and by society's standard that's what men do. Women on the other hand are supposed to just sit back and take it, because again that's what by society's definition and ideas women are supposed to do. Well that's BULLSHIT! Women are people too and just as equal as men in this day and age so the idea that men can get away with treating his woman like trash is antiquated and foolish. If a woman were to cheat on a man and make him feel insecure then she is a hoe or evil, men get a pat on the ass. In reality, men couldn't handle being treated half as bad as a woman, they just aren't equipped for that. Men can dish it but they can't take it. A man can be sleeping with women all over town but let him find out that another man has even taken interest in his woman, he gone be ready to fight everybody including his woman. The question is why though? Why are you so upset that another man is doing to YOUR woman what you were doing to ANOTHER woman? I'm confused. Men think it's ok it play with women like a toy, throw her around, step on her, mistreat and misuse her then when she is all damaged and broken put her back on the self for someone else to fix. It's selfish and it's wrong, then the next man who may very well be a very decent, sincere man who is nothing like the last will get dogged because she is too scared of being put back on the shelf. Women shouldn't have to wear a sign that says "DAMAGED GOODS HANDLE WITH CARE" so that the next man knows why she's so angry, bitter and jaded. Women are emotional by nature and to take advantage of that is a slap in GOD's face because we were put here as a companion for man so to be unappreciated is being unappreciative of GOD's creation.

So you tell me, if I were to do all the shit that you do to ME to YOU could you take it? I'll answer that, HELL NO!

VIDEO OF THE WEEK: Hakeem Tha Dream - How It Goes Down ft Zee Lauren

WHAT TO WEAR???

As I stated in my previous post one of my closets friends Jen is getting married in May. Essentially I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, then I wasn't, then I was now I'm not. So in an effort to make everyone happy on HER day, my dear sweet friend has decided that I am a very special guest at her wedding sitting me near the front with her family. In a way I was angry that I am not a bridesmaid, not because I wanted to be but it would have made my wardrobe dilemma non existent. So now that I am not in the wedding and attending as a special guest, I have to find something to wear. All things taken into consideration, the style of the wedding, the style of the bride and groom, the time of day and location I have to make sure I am up to standard. Playing dress up is one of my favorite things to do, feeling like a princess for just a moment is always fun.


I have been searching for the perfect dress for the past 2 months, I tried to go the easy route and order my dress online. Needless to say this has become a FAIL! I ordered a pale peach colored full length sweetheart dress. The dress was strapless and extremely pretty in the picture, when I got it in the mail I was deeply disappointed.
In an attempt to step outside of my comfort zone by getting a dress any color but black I wasn't happy at all with my choice, not only was the color off but so was the material and the way the dress fit. So I am back to square one, I had to stop and ask myself, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WEAR TO AN AFTER FIVE WEDDING?" A million and one questions are going through my mind and I am driving myself crazy. Can you wear black? Are pant acceptable since it's not in a church? If I do wear a dress can it be long or short? Will I look like a club goer if I wear a short dress? HUUUGGH!! I'm starting to think I need to actually go dress shopping and stop being lazy. I think I am just as stressed being a GUEST at this wedding as the BRIDE is about being the BRIDE!

Jumping the Broom

Over the weekend I attended one of my best friend's bridal showers, to be honest this was my first and her wedding will be the first wedding that I attend that isn't some old person my grandparents know. Although this is the first of my friends' weddings that I will be attending does not mean I do not have any friends that aren't married, as a matter of fact my married friends out number my single friends. Needless to say as with all major life events such as marriage or child birth, I am starting to get the itch. (You know the itch when your friend tells you she's engaged and you start wondering when is your time coming? Yeah that one.) So as I'm sitting with another friend who is also single I lean over and tell her "You know Michelle I don't think you and I will ever be sitting where Jen is. We are going to be single forever." All we both could do was shake our heads because this is showing to be a true statement.

As almost all little girls do growing up I have dreamt of my wedding day and what it will be like for as long as I can remember. I know what my colors are going to be, how many bridesmaids I want, I even know what my bouquet will be made up of (Gardenias of course). So I have all of these wonderful details about my big day mapped out but there is just one small problem, I am missing a groom! (As insignificant as he is on that day he is still a crucial part of the plan.) This missing piece of the puzzle has led me to question myself and the possibility that I may never get married. YES I SAID IT! I am accepting the fact that I may be single or unmarried for the rest of my life. Am I ok with this? No, I mean who wants to spend their life shacking up? Especially when you're in love. Now I will say this, I personally believe that marriage on paper is a waste of time and that it is the vows made under the sight of GOD that are important. (This is just me) That little piece of paper doesn't define your relationship and it is the words and commitment that is made before family, friends and the all mighty that define it. Again none of these facts ease my mind in knowing that I may be destined for solitude. Although I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years, I still have to wonder and ask myself, "Where is this going? Are we going to continue on a path to nowhere or will we eventually end up in happily ever after?" Sometimes I believe that titles often ruin a relationship by giving it too much responsibility, but that's a post all it's on. So with all that being said I ask is jumping the broom really a MUST in this day and age or is it best to just let things be if they are working the way they are? Is a dress, cake and being a princess for a day really all that important?

The Great Debate "These Three Words"

"I love you" These three very simple words can change the entire dynamic of any relationship the moment they escape your lips. Sometimes these words are often used in the heat of the moment during sex or used as a go to in the heat of an argument, then there are times when it only seems appropriate to express your true feelings for the person you are with. During a conversation with some friends these simple words started a debate. "Luv u" "ILY" "Love you too" these are the most commonly used ways of expressing love to your significant other, but do they really mean the same thing? In my opinion it does not, when expressing the way that you feel for someone you are in a relationship with (Boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner or husband etc) the words LUV U hold no true meaning, neither does LOVE YOU. To shorten these words via conversation or text is to denounce your feelings. Its acceptable to say I LUV YA to your girlfriends (you know your homegirls) but not to someone you are intimate with or intend to spend your life with. This is almost the same as saying, "Hmmm I'm going to say it because I know its what you want to hear but I'm not committing to those actual feelings for you." This is just my opinion and everyone sees things differently but to profess your love to someone only for them to say "Love you too" is a slap in the face. What do you think?

Love is something that people often throw around, people often times don't have a clue what it means to truly step outside themselves and love another person that is not family just as much as they love themselves. People use love as a way to get what they want, to get someone to have sex with them. In the words of Halle Berry as Angela in "Boomerang" "I am tired of men using love like its a disease you just catch." Telling someone you love them just to please them or get something out of them can be harmful to you and them. People do crazy things when they are heartbroken, so think before you play with someone's heart by telling them love them and really don't.

Who is Silas the Stylist?? REALLY?

I’ll never forget the first time I met Silas, he was doing tattoos in Black Pearl, the only reason I noticed this lively young man was because all of his creative tattoos and his amazing voice as he sang while working. That was over 5 years ago and I have watched this triple threat of a man evolve into something great. I know who Silas the Stylist is but I think it’s time for the entire Whirl to see beyond him being Roland’s nephew and take a look into the life of this anything but ordinary young man.

Silas Brown aka Silas the Stylist has become quite a known name in St. Louis over the past year. I remember seeing him for the first time in over a year last October in the Loft. “Harlem, that was only a minor set back to prepare me for a major comeback.” I have since seen that manifest into something great.

So who is Silas the Stylist? “That’s a good question; I am style and swag in the flesh. I am anything but ordinary.” Always the confident borderline arrogant individual, you can’t help but love Silas. He without hesitation gave me the raw unedited answers that you have to appreciate. “There is more to me than what meets the eye; people tend to judge a book by its cover when they see me. I am not this weird dude with tattoos and crazy hair, I’ve got talents that have yet to be seen.” Silas was exposed to the St. Louis entertainment industry from working in his uncle’s tattoo shop, Black Pearl, everyone knows that’s the home of Young Ro (who obviously is Silas’ younger cousin) “It is important that people see me for who I am and not just as Silas from the tattoo shop. I would be discrediting myself if I said that I was a triple threat. I am an artist, a stylist, a host and much more so I guess you can say I’m something like a quadruple threat.” Knowing Silas personally I didn’t have to inquire about him being MIA from late 2009 until late 2010 but he was more than willing to talk about it. “It’s no secret that I spent a little over a year in county. That’s not something that I try to hide, the things I’ve done in the past don’t define who I am or what I’m doing NOW. Everybody makes mistakes it’s what you learn from them that matters.” When asked exactly what he was up to these days Silas smiled before answering. “I’ve got a lot of upcoming projects that I am really excited about. Some of which I can’t discuss yet, but they are sure to be major, I am also working with Tony J on the 2011 Traffic Music Awards, as well as the St. Louis Fashion and Hair Show. It’s so crazy because not too long ago I was locked up and now I’m working on the TMA’s.” “I guess you can say I’m somewhat of a "from nothing to something" even though I have always been something and somebody.

Silas has worked with many of St. Louis’ local artists including Young Ro, Huey, model Alli Nicole as well as yours truly. “I’ve worked with some of the best and I am looking forward to working with many more as well as expanding my brand outside of St. Louis.” Silas says that he enjoys styling the best of the best. “What people fail to realize is that image is everything. My motto is if you look good and market a good product then you good.” In conclusion to our ever so interesting interview I asked Silas how does he define himself. “I am an individual, there is no one else like me. I have earned my respect and I am no longer known as Roland’s nephew.” I couldn’t agree more, I have watched this young man go from young and reckless to mature and about his business. No matter how hard you try you couldn’t judge him nor knock his grind. I look forward to seeing what is in store for this ever so special young man in the months to come. I have faith that he will reach his goal of being known both locally and nationally before the start of 2012.

Silas can be found at Get Set Phase 3 located at 5405 Riverview and via Twitter.com/SilasTheStylist