Tuesday, June 29, 2010

THE EX-FACTOR


Every now and then the past finds a way to come back and haunt you. The saying is that the past is the past for a reason and that's the reason it didn't make it to your present. The same goes for an ex right? There was something that happened during that relationship that caused your ex to become an ex. Maybe things just didn't work out, someone cheated or you realized you were both better off apart than as a unit. Whatever the reason things had to end. Some people remain friends after breaking up, others go their separate ways and never think twice about the other. But there are those ever so rare moments that when you least expect it you are hit with a blast from the past and just as quickly as they had exited they enter your life once again.

One of my favorite love stories of my generation is that of Carrie Bradshaw and "Mr. Big". From break up to make up it is one love story that most women can relate to. During periods of their break ups both Carrie and Big committed themselves seriously to other people including being intimate. All the while still holding on to the other, continuing affair after affair with one another. Sure for true fans of SATC we all hoped that in the end Carrie would come to her senses and marry Big (which of course she did in the movie). However this is a fictional storyline and it is not often that our stories have this very same ending.

So my question is this: Is it healthy for one to continue any type of relationship with an ex? Whether your interaction is strictly sexual or a friendship? Is it fair to say that you are only confusing your emotions when the situation obviously was emotional enough? Not every man nor woman has the mental capacity to deal with someone once they have gone their separate ways. I mean you have to be honest with yourself, are you emotionally prepared to watch them be happy with someone else? You broke up for a reason, maybe it was to find yourself before committing to being a constant part of someone else's life or maybe it was because things just didn't work.

So I ask, when faced with the ex-factor what are you going to do? Are you going to do the Carrie and Big dance and hope that when the clock strikes midnight your stagecoach doesn't turn back into a pumpkin? Or you going to let sleeping dogs lay?