"BAD HABITS"

Biting your nails, chewing your hair, tapping your foot; these are just a few examples of bad habits people tend to have. There is nothing abnormal about having certain bad habits, it is a part of human nature and we all have them. Is it abnormal however for a person to be your bad habit? Dictionary.com defines a "habit" as: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary. Keeping that defintion in mind, I ask the question again; is it possible to consider someone your bad habit? Maxwell's song "Bad Habit" in my opion describes the response to a T. This song captures the lowest of the lowest points of an addiction to a person. A bad habit is just that right? An addiction? You feel like you want it, need it, and will do anything to get it! You can be addicted to a person therefore they can in fact be a bad habit. Bad habits are often hard to break! What or should I say WHO is your bad habit? We all have one!

"Addicted to the Game" (What's your addiction?)

“Hady!” I screamed her name as I rushed into her arms, the bloody stains on my face marring the fabric of her lilac wife beater. “Hady! I can’t believe it’s really you!” I almost couldn’t fathom that for once in my life, God seemed to have gotten it right. I really thought this was the end. I thought for sure he had come back to finish me off. But instead, my angel, my sister, came to my rescue like she has more than a few times in our short lives.
“Bay! What the hell happened to you? Tell me who did this! Tell me!!” Hayden looked like someone had just killed her best friend, and in a way, they almost had. I had just endured a beating so terrible that it knocked me out cold, and the only blessing is that I couldn’t remember a thing. I don’t even know how I made it back to our house, or how I got Aiden with me for that matter.
“Hady I don’t even know! I don’t remember anything! All I know is I went out with Xavier, we went to the club just to chill for a minute, next thing I know, I wake up on the bathroom floor with a migraine and a fucked up face! I prayed for you, I prayed so hard, and you’re here! What am I gonna do? I gotta stop this!”
I cried into my sister’s arms, starving for her to hold me, needing her to tell me that everything was gonna be alright. It seemed as though ever since we made this move, while she’s been grindin’ trying to make this paper using her head, I find myself constantly in with the wrong crowd. I mean, I got more beauty and talent in the palm of my hand than any of these other wanna be famous bitches, but for some reason, these no good rappin’ ass niggas take advantage of a chick like me. I knew something had to change, but there was something about him that had me drawn to him. Like a bee to honey, or a bull to a matador. I was addicted

"ADDICTED TO THE GAME"

"IN THE BEGINNING"

I slowly opened my eyes, I was laying flat on my back staring up at the ceiling. My head was pounding and the side of my neck was burning, there was a warm wet sensation inside my mouth. I struggled to remember the events leading up to me waking up alone on the cold bathroom floor while attempting to get up, it wasn’t until I was staring at the battered reflection that I the events not 5 minutes prior flooded my memory. I stared at the black, blue and deep purple ring around my otherwise flawless green eyes. I ran my fingers over the 5-inch long wound that now defined my neck. I spit the warm blood from between my teeth and rinsed my mouth with cool water. I stared in the mirror and had no idea who the person was staring back at me. Was this my life? This was not supposed to be my life. The longer I stared the more the memories came flowing back, some good and some bad but they were my memories.
I was born and raised in St. Louis, one of only two children a twin nonetheless. My sister Hayden and I were kind of restless spirits, our mother said she knew at conception she was carrying something great. My sister and I were born on the coldest day of the year in early 1984. My mother used to say that was the reason I was such a cold hearted woman, which I took pride in being. I had goals and I wasn’t going to let anyone deter me from reaching them. At the age of 18, Hady and I moved to none other than Hollywood California, the only place we knew was big enough to hold our dreams. Hayden had the gift of gab, she knew any and everything about everybody and we used that to our advantage. Her ability to talk her way out of any situation kept us on our feet when we moved to the ragged one bedroom apartment on Hollywood Blvd. The day after graduation we were on an airplane headed to Cali with our dreams, two twin Louie bags and the six thousand dollars we’d saved over the years. The spotlight was always my thing, while Hady would rather be the brains behind the robot. Twins merely in physical, barely siblings by the mental. I used my face to get me where I wanted to go in life. Long legs, dark green eyes and a flawless near peanut butter complexion. I always believed I was created for this purpose and this purpose only, there was nothing I wanted more but for my looks to be the stepping-stone to my comfortable life. I made myself at home in the modeling and fashion industry while my sister thought of a way to make mad loot using her GOD given talent, the ability to know!
I’d done well maintaining my “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and was able handle my business without incident until I met him. One of the many men that would enter my untouched life and turn it upside down!
The banging on the door broke my trans, I knew who it was standing on the other side. I looked around for a quick exit as I’d done many times before, but we lived on the fifth floor of the high-rise loft building so I took a deep breath and waited. I closed my eyes and I prayed, prayed for a way out, prayed that someone was listening and could hear my silent cries and plea for help.