We Got Hood Love

Now I play tough..but not for too long. You are someone I depend on. No matter how I act at times I could never walk away. Thought about it plenty times but nonone could take ya place. We got hood love.

The Great Debate "These Three Words"

"I love you" These three very simple words can change the entire dynamic of any relationship the moment they escape your lips. Sometimes these words are often used in the heat of the moment during sex or used as a go to in the heat of an argument, then there are times when it only seems appropriate to express your true feelings for the person you are with. During a conversation with some friends these simple words started a debate. "Luv u" "ILY" "Love you too" these are the most commonly used ways of expressing love to your significant other, but do they really mean the same thing? In my opinion it does not, when expressing the way that you feel for someone you are in a relationship with (Boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner or husband etc) the words LUV U hold no true meaning, neither does LOVE YOU. To shorten these words via conversation or text is to denounce your feelings. Its acceptable to say I LUV YA to your girlfriends (you know your homegirls) but not to someone you are intimate with or intend to spend your life with. This is almost the same as saying, "Hmmm I'm going to say it because I know its what you want to hear but I'm not committing to those actual feelings for you." This is just my opinion and everyone sees things differently but to profess your love to someone only for them to say "Love you too" is a slap in the face. What do you think?

Love is something that people often throw around, people often times don't have a clue what it means to truly step outside themselves and love another person that is not family just as much as they love themselves. People use love as a way to get what they want, to get someone to have sex with them. In the words of Halle Berry as Angela in "Boomerang" "I am tired of men using love like its a disease you just catch." Telling someone you love them just to please them or get something out of them can be harmful to you and them. People do crazy things when they are heartbroken, so think before you play with someone's heart by telling them love them and really don't.

In this Together~Ossie and Ruby

"It occurred to us from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it--that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished--as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease. we had to be discreet and, if the word can be apt, honorable in our behavior, both to ourselves, to whomever else might be involved and most of all to the family." ~Source "In This Life Together with Ossie and Ruby" A joint biography page 317

You could have bought me for a penny when I was researching one of Black America's favorite couples and found out they had an open marriage for many years. I have always admired these two and for some reason after learning this I gained a new level of respect for them. As I continued reading I came across a quote by Ruby; "But we both came to realize that we were very fortunate that, in all of the deep profound, fundamental ways, we really, really only wanted each other. It was like rediscovery of something from the beginning. But often Ossie has said-and I've thought too-the best way to have somebody is the let it go. If it doesn't come back you are free in another kind of sense-in that you find the strength to let go and wish somebody well."
This statement alone shows the power of true love, two people who felt that sleeping with other people would somehow free them and allow them the ability to love one another deeply found that they only wanted each other to begin with. While both Ossie and Ruby were married prior to their union they remained happily married for 56 years, when they took their vows it truly was until death, when Ossie passed away in 2005 they were still happily married.
It's sad to say but people just don't stay together that long. Almost as if we are so quick to jump into a relationship without knowing what it takes to make it work or to be healthy. Often times we make fast assumptions on someone being the right person for us without knowing what or who that person truly is, no relationship can survive like that. I look around and I see fewer and fewer healthy black relationships, women constantly dogging men and saying they are this and they are that. Sometimes you have to stop pointing the finger and start working towards a solution. Love of any color is an amazing thing. Make it work.

Black Love....Part 1 OUR ANCESTORS

In a recent post I exposed my readers to what I think is black love. One of my readers asked me to explore the topic of black love, I said I was going to wait until February (black history month and the month of Valentine's Day). However I decided to write this in a short series of posts, I wasn't sure I would have enough material; but when you think about it black love is all over. So this is the start of the black love series.

I know someone reading this is like what is the difference between black love and Hispanic love or white love? There really is no difference, or is there? Considering the history and background of our culture (being slaves and all) all we had was each other; family was most important during slavery times. Slaves never knew when they were going to be separated from those they loved most, whether it was their husband or wife or child, so they cherished every moment they had together taking nothing for granted. Love between the people of that time was real, there was nothing more important that loving your significant other. People then would fight and even die for the person they truly loved. They were honest, faithful, devoted and knew their roles in the relationship. These are values that a lot of relationships today lack, men are easily distracted by the next chic who he thinks is better than what he has at home. I hate to say it but a lot of women are now playing the role of the man and providing for the home, the role reversal can be strenuous on the love. (That is a topic for another post though). My point is that black love is something to be celebrated because so many people no longer have the same core values when it comes to black love as those before us. Back then relationships had substance, mainly because the couples were a unit, they suffered and struggled together. To have the person you know you can trust by your side was important to them. Somewhere along the way black relationships have lost their foundation in which they should be built. Think about it...this is a series with more posts to come...

Black Love...Makes my Soul Happy

Florida and James Evans...for richer or for poorer.

I remember having a conversation with a friend last year in regards to not just relationships but black relationships. There was only one way for me to describe the way black love (TRUE black love) makes me feel. "It makes my soul happy". So I wanted to give you some of my favorite couples that truly make my soul do the happy dance. These couples, wheather ficticious or real prove that there is a such thing as soul mates, or that one person that you can't imagine your life without.

This is one of my all time favorite pictures of President Obama and Michelle. During his campaign she was with him every step of the way. This photo shows her love and dedication for her husband. Amazing..

Dr. King and Coretta...enough said.

Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, their story is one of true love. People don't believe in "Till death due us part" anymore, Ruby did..