Growing Pains

It will be 6 years on April 15th that my life changed forever. I wasn't expecting my first son to be born until May 27th 2005, however he decided to make his debut early and was delivered April 15th, 2005 at 1:18pm. I must say like most 19 year olds I wasn't exactly ready to be a mother, however I got my walking legs early. It has been a rough 6 years but Laethan and I have made it do what it do and we are getting along just fine. I've learned the meaning of uncoditional love and would gladly give my life to save his without hesitation ANYDAY. Single mothers of little boys have it the hardest because they say a woman can't possibly raise a boy to be a man. I couldn't disagree more, it may take a lot more time and effort but it can and is being done everyday. I am proud to be the mother of an amazing little boy who on April 15th will be celebrating his 6th birthday!! Happy Birthday Laethan!!!

"Motivation"

With a song like this and video to match, I don't think anyone can deny that Kelly Rowland is making a successful and sexy comeback! GET EM Kelly!

We Got Hood Love

Now I play tough..but not for too long. You are someone I depend on. No matter how I act at times I could never walk away. Thought about it plenty times but nonone could take ya place. We got hood love.

I was having a conversation recently with a fellow female writer when she brought up Alex Stephens, the author of a short story called "Never Date a Writer". When I say this short story is so epic and true that I want to share it with everyone I come in contact with I am not joking. Everything he says is true so I decided to share this with my readers. Enjoy :)

"Never Date a Writer"

Never date a writer because she’ll fictionalize everything. She’ll write about things you have done to her, or things you never did for her. She’ll write about how you never bought her flowers. Not once. She’ll say in well-constructed prose how the whole time you were together, she never came home from a long week to see a vase full of roses, or daises, or anything.
She’ll describe times you embarrassed her, like at a party. It was her party because she was leaving for three months, and all her friends were there to see her off. People bought her champagne, which was never chilled, but you drank it anyway and that was after you had had whiskey. She’ll talk about how you played strip poker with others. And she walked in to see your clothes bunched up on the floor, next to smashed cigarette butts. She’ll say how she had to cover you with a coat because all her friends laughed about it, and so did you. Then she’ll describe how later, when she didn’t want to leave you and she wanted to be held, she heard you vomit in the bathroom. She’ll say how she had to make sure you were still alive and how she saw your face pressed against the toilet and how your legs shook on the tile. And she said your name and asked if you were okay and you just stared at her through half opened eyelids and looked away. She’ll say she couldn’t make love to you and she had to stay up and make coffee, before you took her to the airport.
She’ll continue this emphasis on what you had done to her, by describing things she had found, but said nothing about. Like when she opened your wallet to slide twenty dollars inside, because you had bought her dinner. She’ll say how she sat on the hardwood floor where the heat couldn’t reach and she shivered. She’ll explain the condom she found, and how it was lubricated and had small writing on the package she couldn’t see because her eyes watered. She’ll talk about the note she found from a girl she didn’t know but you did because in the scribbled handwriting she could make out your name. You were asleep on the bed and she was on the floor. She’ll tell the reader how she held her legs and tapped her chin against her knee. And she decided that it’s not wrong for men to have friends, because all men have friends, so she closed the wallet and slept without a blanket on the floor.
She’ll later describe the moment in the bedroom when she sat at the foot of the bed and you kneeled in front of her. She’ll give you short choppy dialogue, so that you sound distant. She’ll tell the reader how you said it’s not that you didn’t love her but you couldn’t be with her and that it’s more your fault than hers, except she’ll tell it much more compellingly. She’ll describe how she choked on her tears and tried not to vomit right in front of you. And how she looked at the poster on the wall, the one she bought for you and how the different colors turned together when you spoke. She’ll say how the bed you had brought from your place felt like steel and she couldn’t move because her legs were welded there and she could only listen to you and watch the colors of the room turn gray.
And she’ll send you a manuscript and you’ll be on the couch where you both had sat and you’ll read every word. You’ll notice she didn’t tell things, like the time you had to see her because she had been sick with the flu and unable to get out of bed. And you ran from the campus to her apartment to make sure she was okay. You ran in the dark and there was so much snow that your legs began to freeze. And she won’t tell the reader how you didn’t have gloves or good shoes and you couldn’t see the patch of ice and you slipped. She won’t tell them you slipped. You twisted your ankle and your face landed in a snow bank. She won’t describe the taste in your mouth, how you pulled yourself up and limped up to her apartment. You used the key she’d just given you and she won’t say how nice it was being able to enter unannounced. And she won’t say how good it was to see her asleep and that you kissed her on the top of her head and then staggered home. She won’t move into your head and explain how much you really loved her. How you almost started to cry when you walked. You shook from the wind but felt safe because she was.
You’ll sit alone on that couch where you made love to her and you won’t move and the glass of whiskey on the table will not be touched. You won’t get up to turn up the lights and you won’t get up to use the restroom even though you have to. You’ll sit in the dim of your living room. And you will read.

~I tried to find a website for Alex Stephens but had no luck. This left me speechless and in tears. This is great work.~

"What if a Woman"

"What if a woman, had a man on the side and she never spent time with you.
What if a woman, said she's working late and it's always the same excuse.
What if a woman, took the keys to your whip said I'll be right back
don't trip. What if a woman left you home with the kids
changing diapers and shit what a twist." ~"What if a Woman" by Joe ~

That is a good question, what if a woman did all the things to her man that he does to her? What if women had no regard for the way we treated the men we dealt with? Relationships are a double standard. Men can treat women any which way they please and its ok, because he's a man and by society's standard that's what men do. Women on the other hand are supposed to just sit back and take it, because again that's what by society's definition and ideas women are supposed to do. Well that's BULLSHIT! Women are people too and just as equal as men in this day and age so the idea that men can get away with treating his woman like trash is antiquated and foolish. If a woman were to cheat on a man and make him feel insecure then she is a hoe or evil, men get a pat on the ass. In reality, men couldn't handle being treated half as bad as a woman, they just aren't equipped for that. Men can dish it but they can't take it. A man can be sleeping with women all over town but let him find out that another man has even taken interest in his woman, he gone be ready to fight everybody including his woman. The question is why though? Why are you so upset that another man is doing to YOUR woman what you were doing to ANOTHER woman? I'm confused. Men think it's ok it play with women like a toy, throw her around, step on her, mistreat and misuse her then when she is all damaged and broken put her back on the self for someone else to fix. It's selfish and it's wrong, then the next man who may very well be a very decent, sincere man who is nothing like the last will get dogged because she is too scared of being put back on the shelf. Women shouldn't have to wear a sign that says "DAMAGED GOODS HANDLE WITH CARE" so that the next man knows why she's so angry, bitter and jaded. Women are emotional by nature and to take advantage of that is a slap in GOD's face because we were put here as a companion for man so to be unappreciated is being unappreciative of GOD's creation.

So you tell me, if I were to do all the shit that you do to ME to YOU could you take it? I'll answer that, HELL NO!

VIDEO OF THE WEEK: Hakeem Tha Dream - How It Goes Down ft Zee Lauren

WHAT TO WEAR???

As I stated in my previous post one of my closets friends Jen is getting married in May. Essentially I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, then I wasn't, then I was now I'm not. So in an effort to make everyone happy on HER day, my dear sweet friend has decided that I am a very special guest at her wedding sitting me near the front with her family. In a way I was angry that I am not a bridesmaid, not because I wanted to be but it would have made my wardrobe dilemma non existent. So now that I am not in the wedding and attending as a special guest, I have to find something to wear. All things taken into consideration, the style of the wedding, the style of the bride and groom, the time of day and location I have to make sure I am up to standard. Playing dress up is one of my favorite things to do, feeling like a princess for just a moment is always fun.


I have been searching for the perfect dress for the past 2 months, I tried to go the easy route and order my dress online. Needless to say this has become a FAIL! I ordered a pale peach colored full length sweetheart dress. The dress was strapless and extremely pretty in the picture, when I got it in the mail I was deeply disappointed.
In an attempt to step outside of my comfort zone by getting a dress any color but black I wasn't happy at all with my choice, not only was the color off but so was the material and the way the dress fit. So I am back to square one, I had to stop and ask myself, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WEAR TO AN AFTER FIVE WEDDING?" A million and one questions are going through my mind and I am driving myself crazy. Can you wear black? Are pant acceptable since it's not in a church? If I do wear a dress can it be long or short? Will I look like a club goer if I wear a short dress? HUUUGGH!! I'm starting to think I need to actually go dress shopping and stop being lazy. I think I am just as stressed being a GUEST at this wedding as the BRIDE is about being the BRIDE!