'WOMAN TO WOMAN"

"Hello, may I speak to Barbara? Barbara, this is Shirley. You might not know who I am, but the reason I am calling you is because I was going through my old man's pockets this morning. And I just happened to find your name and number. So woman to woman I don't think it's being any more than fair to call you, and let you know where I'm coming from.Now Barbara, I don't know how you're gonna take this. But whether you be cool or come out of a bag on me, you see it doesn't really make any difference. But it's only fair that I let you know that the man you're in love with, He's mine, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. The bed he sleeps in and every piece of food he eats you see I make it possible. The clothes on his back Ha ha, I buy them, the car he drives I pay the note every month. So I'm telling you these things to let you know how much I love this man and woman to woman I think you'll understand just how much I'll do to keep him." (After growing up and understanding exactly what Shirley was saying she sounded rather silly but hey I guess she made her point cause Barbara didn't say a word)

Any woman that is content being in Barbara's place in my opinion considers herself to have a very low self worth and a lack of respect for not only herself but the female species. I personally despise any woman who is happy being in that position. However there is a catch to being the "other woman". In today's society it is hard to find a man that does have a child or children. We all know what comes along with the man and his children, a baby mama! (which is a term that I hate by the way! I mean who honestly is content being a baby mama? What happened to wanting to be a wife?) Anywho, for some reason women today have this fabricated notion that because you have a baby with someone they are tied down to you for life. This is the dumbest thing a woman can force herself to believe, I just can't see how someone could be this naive and selfish. When a "baby mama" doesn't get her way with her child's father what is her vice? That's easy she uses the child to control the relationship even though there is no relationship. "I don't want my son around that bitch!" Really? Why she gotta be all that? Or they pull the okey doke and make sure they hang around the family of the "baby daddy" every time they drop the child off just to monitor what the father is doing or who he is seeing. (these are actions and signs of pure desperation) As a woman, you can't help but sympathize with the poor girl because she is doing her best, pulling all her tricks out the bag to make sure he does move on and is just as miserable as she is. On the other hand you want to beat the afterbirth out of the girl for making you miserable right along with her ass. A real woman who is confident within herself and down for her man is going to stick it out and maintain a level head, but it's only so much before it begins to wear you down and take a toll on your relationship. A real woman is never going to come between a man and his child and the baby mama most likely knows so she plays her trump card every chance she gets and uses the child to her advantage.

No woman should ever be content playing the role of the "other woman" therefore even when a woman is the only woman in the relationship. Like I said there is only so much one can take before she washes her hand of a situation, everyone deserves 100% in a relationship and if a man has a selfish ass woman as the mother of his child/children she is not going to get that 100%. You can't compete with someone's children and these women are so desperate that they will pray on that. I respect and commend any woman that is in this situation and holds her head high and handles her business. (It takes a strong ass woman not to knock the spit out of desperate ass woman who wants you to be miserable just because she is.) I refuse to play the role of Barbara, ain't no bitch gone ever Shirley Brown me!

ANOTHER WOMAN'S MAN

In this day and age everybody is attached to someone else in one way or another. Rather it be in a relationship, marriage, intimately, or share children everyone is attached. So does it truly come as a surprise that the person that you are digging tells you they have a girlfriend or fiance'? Why do you find yourself getting upset and in your feelings when he tells you that he still has a good functional relationship with his child's mother? I mean honestly did you think you were the only woman feeling him out here? (I'd like to believe no woman is that naive but I know better) My question is this: When realizing the man you are digging has someone else he is dealing with, rather casual or serious do you continue pursuing him?

Often times we as women allow our emotions to drive out better judgement and plain old know better. ("Girl why you messing with that married man? I know you know better! I didn't raise you like that! *in my mama voice*) I am well aware that men are quite the deceitful species and will hide the moon and stars from you if they could. However all things are revealed in time, and most of the time it doesn't take long for someone's hand to be played. In the beginning he may take you to the movies or out to eat and talk to you for hours on end and the sex just may be life changing. All that is fine, until the all day calls and texts become scarce, the sex is very hard to come by (No pun intended) women being the emotionally unstable creatures that we are immediately go into panic mode and start wondering what is going on and what did they do wrong. Start blowing the man's phone up with all kinds of calls and texts asking question after question. Now he may have lost interest, or he may busy but more times than not there is someone else. Some men are man enough to tell you this while others will either continue avoiding you. Now you also have your no goods, the ones that will continue a whole relationship with you AND his chick at home.

Of course there are some women who are content being a side piece, this is their personal choice who are we to judge. But you have to wonder what is it that makes a woman content with being with another woman's man? How is that you know that he goes home to someone else every night, is emotional attached to another woman yet you are content with the peanuts he throws you by seeing you every now and then or leaves you with a wet twat here and there? At some point every woman goes through a time where she is deceived and cheated on by someone that she truly loves. So why in the HELL would you want to be the other woman and the reason that another woman endures that pain? Are you truly content with not seeing that man on holidays? Going to duck off spots to have sex? Really is that the life you want? Some women get too comfortable and end up pregnant, as if that is going to make the situation change. There are too many men in this world for you to be sharing dick. (not to mention all the diseases people are coming up now a days.) In some cases a woman is truly oblivious to the fact that she is "the other woman", where the man is just so smooth that he covers all his tracks. So in all honesty they are just as much a victim as the significant other. But all these scandalous women out here sleeping with, having babies by another woman's man how do you sleep at night? Do you honestly believe he is going to leave her and be with you? My mother and grandmother drilled one thing into my mind as I became a woman, "A man that cheats WITH you is going to cheat ON you". So go ahead and allow these men to keep to sell you a dream, you'll wake the hell up eventually.

THE EX-FACTOR

Every now and then the past finds a way to come back and haunt you. The saying is that the past is the past for a reason and that's the reason it didn't make it to your present. The same goes for an ex right? There was something that happened during that relationship that caused your ex to become an ex. Maybe things just didn't work out, someone cheated or you realized you were both better off apart than as a unit. Whatever the reason things had to end. Some people remain friends after breaking up, others go their separate ways and never think twice about the other. But there are those ever so rare moments that when you least expect it you are hit with a blast from the past and just as quickly as they had exited they enter your life once again.

One of my favorite love stories of my generation is that of Carrie Bradshaw and "Mr. Big". From break up to make up it is one love story that most women can relate to. During periods of their break ups both Carrie and Big committed themselves seriously to other people including being intimate. All the while still holding on to the other, continuing affair after affair with one another. Sure for true fans of SATC we all hoped that in the end Carrie would come to her senses and marry Big (which of course she did in the movie). However this is a fictional storyline and it is not often that our stories have this very same ending.

So my question is this: Is it healthy for one to continue any type of relationship with an ex? Whether your interaction is strictly sexual or a friendship? Is it fair to say that you are only confusing your emotions when the situation obviously was emotional enough? Not every man nor woman has the mental capacity to deal with someone once they have gone their separate ways. I mean you have to be honest with yourself, are you emotionally prepared to watch them be happy with someone else? You broke up for a reason, maybe it was to find yourself before committing to being a constant part of someone else's life or maybe it was because things just didn't work.

So I ask, when faced with the ex-factor what are you going to do? Are you going to do the Carrie and Big dance and hope that when the clock strikes midnight your stagecoach doesn't turn back into a pumpkin? Or you going to let sleeping dogs lay?

WHAT DOES YOUR "TEE" SAY ABOUT YOU?

SOOOOOO this past weekend Sunday May 30th 2010 one of the most infamous parties went down here in the LOU, TEESE brought to you by SYGU (Si-Goo). This year TEESE was held at the Pageant in the Delmar Loop. The Pageant is a concert venue, and needless to say SYGU packed it out!!! Any and everybody, all the who's who's and wanna-be's were in attendance to the summer kick off. Just like last year my shirt was made by PATCHES clothing, one of the Lou's hottest clothing companies. As always the PATCHES crew got me together. I couldn't decide on an exact design so I had them make me 2, however I only wore one. I have to say I was more than pleased with the outcome of both my shirts and plan on wearing them more than once. If you are a St Louis resident and don't have a shirt made by PATCHES and never attended a TEESE party, you are losing. Last night it was more than clear who had their shirt made where, any replication of a TEE was obviously a store brand. I am proud to say I was wearing a PATCHES original!!! (well it wasn't too original!) My tee said "YES my bag is FAKE"!!! MAKE SURE YA'LL GET AT MY PATCHES FAM WWW.PATCHESCLOTHING.BLOGSPOT.COM OR WWW.PATCHESCLOTHING.COM JUST TRYNNA STAY FRESH IN A DIRTY WORLD!

DIARY OF A BITTER BLACK WOMAN

I recently read an article in Essence magazine pertaining to angry, bitter, black women. A very close friend of mine told me that I should read it because I might find it helpful, my friend and I share a lot of deep and emotional moments, so I knew if she found it to be helpful so would I. In the article the author talked about how bitterness is almost a mental disability. So many women (African-American) being the main focus of the article suffer from this illness. A lot of women's angry, bitter, mad at the world attitude stems back to problems or issues with a man and some past relationship. Now by men and a past relationships, it could be an ex-boyfriend, a former sex partner or even their father. These past relationships could have ended badly, been full of turmoil even traumatic. Naturally these relationships cause the woman to put up a wall and form a "fuck the world attitude". It's a defense mechanism, the angry, jaded, bitchy attitude is used to keep her feelings from being on the line.
A woman who has once had her trust broken it is hard for her to trust anyone, not just men. The article offered some helpful tips on how to deal with that anger and bitterness without taking it out on the world. When you take your anger towards someone else out on others you are forcing yourself into seclusion without knowing you are doing so. I found one of the tips to be something that I could relate to, journal or writing letters. The article said that writing your feelings down to no one in particular was a good way to express yourself. Write a letter to the person who has hurt you, made you angry whatever. The article says that you don't have to give it the person you wrote it to, you can burn it, rip it or just put it in a lock box, whatever you choose is up to just get your feelings out. Journaling is a part of a therapeutic healing process, it allows you to express your feelings and it doesn't have to be to anyone in particular. Harboring and suppressing your feelings of pain and anger only force about major health conditions that be long term. Nervous break downs, anxiety, migraines, heart problems and high blood pressure. Women give others, both male and female too much power and influence over their lives. We give men the power to control what we do by sleeping with them, chasing them, and accept their lies all because we think we have no choice. Is it really worth it the stress?

25 IS THE START

I recently celebrated my 25th Birthday! yaaaay! I must admit I wasn't ready to turn 25, for a woman who set so many goals and has yet to hit them all it was hard. I have always heard that for a woman life after turning 25 is all down hill. I couldn't disagree more, I am still going to school and working everyday and all while being a fulltime mom to a very active 5 year old. I will say that things were looking like they were going to fall apart but with a little faith and some prayer my life after turning 25 is taking a turn for the best! Stay tuned!!! For me 25 is the Start!

I have been off Twitter for almost 3 months now if I am not mistaken and might I say I miss it!!! I haven't been writing like I used to and I feel as though I am losing my voice. MY words are music, at least to me. Some may turn it off or tune them out but the words that I put down on paper are like a symphony. Sure I abused my gift and took it for granted by using it in a disrespectful and harsh way but when it's all said and done my words are mine. I shut my Twitter page down in an attempt to find a different outlet for my anger and aggression and all I ended up doing was locking myself up in an internal prison. So what do I do? Do I continue living in solitary confinement or do I break free?